Sex During Pregnancy: Keeping The Passion Alive
- Fiona Keene
- Apr 17, 2016
- 4 min read
So you are pregnant? Congratulations! If you have never been pregnant, this may not be the sort of topic you want to be reading about but hang in there because one day you may fall within the majority category of women who want kids so don’t be in such a hurry to run along.
The uncensored part of me is tempted to push the limits by elaborating on my sex drive during my two pregnancies but I will spare you the gory (well super-hot to me) details. And oh, my mum and aunt read this blog so it’s your lucky day.
It’s amazing how different women respond to sex during pregnancy. While some women have a higher sex drive during pregnancy, sex is the last thing on the mind of some. For the later category of women, this can prove difficult especially with a partner with high intimacy needs who could care less about your mood (although he may try his best to show he cares). And then there are men who are not comfortable being intimate with their pregnant partners. As one can imagine, if you have an extremely high libido during pregnancy, this can be very frustrating.
So first things first, what you need to know about sex during pregnancy.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
With a healthy and low risk pregnancy, you can continue to have sex without having to worry about hurting your baby. Rest assured that your baby is safety cushioned and tucked away in the amniotic sac. Nausea, hormonal changes, back ache and fatigue may come in the way but not to worry, this will pass and you are sure to get your groove back in a short while.
Can sex during pregnancy cause a miscarriage?
No. Miscarriages occur due to the fetus not developing normally and having sex does not contribute to this.
What are the best sexual positions during pregnancy?
Most sexual positions are fine during pregnancy but as your pregnancy progresses, sexual positions become limited to whatever makes you and your baby comfortable. This is where creativity comes into play in order to explore what makes you comfortable and your partner happy at the same time.
I don’t mean to be a kill joy but according to fidelitycheckonline.com, “one in ten men have secret affairs while their partners are pregnant.” As alarming as this figure is, I can’t help but wonder if same holds true for African men as this study was carried out in the West. Hmmmm… I digress. So here are some of the reasons the sampled men gave.
“I felt unsure about the pregnancy or the changes that go with it”.
“My partner does not feel like having sex. Her sex drive has diminished because he thinks her body is ugly or unattractive. So I am entitled to be unfaithful and find sex somewhere else to meet my needs”.
“I am worried about the extra responsibility and commitment of looking after a child and family so I had an affair at a time of weakness”.
Studies also show that there are three categories of expectant fathers.
The kind that generally cheats or want to cheat
The kind that desires his pregnant wife more than ever
The kind that has a decreased sex drive and lower risk of cheating on his wife
Unfortunately the same study found that the risk of an average man cheating increases during pregnancy even if he is satisfied in the marriage because he may feel unsure about the pregnancy or the changes that come with it.
It is easier to reason “do your part and God will do the rest” but we have to get universally realistic. Yes, some men still cheat on their perfect partners that might not be depriving them of sex or love for that matter. So on keeping the passion alive, it is important to know where your partner stands regarding sex during pregnancy. This will give you a solid foundation on how to compromise as a couple and keep the fire burning the same way it was before the bun was put in the oven. A lot of men do not know a lot about pregnancy, so educating him as you learn and experience the whole process will help him understand that some of his concerns and fears are needless. Assure him that sex during pregnancy will not trigger premature labor unless your health care provider says otherwise. If you do not want to have sex share your concerns with your partner in a loving and understanding way. At times like these, physical contact like kissing, cuddling or a massage helps. Do not give up on him trying to understand what you are going through. Why? This will help him bond with the baby and appreciate that the process of you carrying his baby can be demanding yet miraculous.
In my first pregnancy, I noticed that I lost my confidence and mojo as I gained weight despite the fact that my drive was just fine. So in this current pregnancy, I am trying (still struggling with saying no to coca cola, and chips) to eat healthier and to keep my weight gain within the recommended range. I also take time out to appreciate my bump and body as a whole in the mirror. This boosts my self-love and self-confidence and also influences the way TY sees me. I make an effort with my physical appearance on a daily basis. You’d find that being complimented on how well you are carrying, or how good pregnancy looks on you will increase your confidence in and out of the bedroom. The days I am not up to getting down and dirty, I let TY know. However, I have an “I will make it up to you” system. For most men, rejection can be compared to being so excited about a holiday trip only to be told it’s been cancelled. So I give him something to look forward to (your reward system will depend on what your partner likes having a lot of). Make an effort not to lose the confidence you had which enabled you initiate sex before pregnancy.
How do you keep the passion alive during pregnancy? I’d love to hear from you.
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