Would You Be Offended If Your Partner Asked You To Lose Weight?
- Fiona Keene
- Mar 31, 2016
- 4 min read
Earlier on today a man approached me in the gym. “Excuse me, forgive me for asking this but are you married?” I looked at my ring that I never take off to make sure it had not magically disappeared. “Yes I am”, I replied politely with a puzzled look on my face. “Do you have children?” The man asked. I sighed and I was tempted to ask him to go and stuff it but the nice me gave in and I replied “yes”. As am 5 months pregnant with a small but obvious bump, I thought to myself, if this dude asks me if I am pregnant I am going to curse the hell out of him. But luckily the conversation took a completely different turn.
“Please, will you speak to my wife for me? (It should be noted here that only a certain breed of Nigerian men would ask a question such as this!) We have three children and my wife works long hours. I signed her up in the gym but she never used her membership for several months so I cancelled it.” He apologized again for being so forward and asked me “How do you do it?” Working for a wellness centre put me in a better position to sell what Avivar Wellness Centre offers and I also encouraged gym classes as I have found most women prefer having some motivation and classes offer just that. Okay fine, this might not have been the best approach and I was glad he’d approached a Ugandan girl. Your average Nigerian girl might have cursed him out at the first
question.
On a more serious note though, women are not playing! Even the pregnant ones like myself are exercising an average of three times a week. I met an extremely skinny pregnant lady in the gym on Monday. The ladies in the changing rooms stared in amazement at our protruding bellies and asked “us” what we were doing in the gym. My answer was earnest, I am naturally a thick girl (British size 12) and I tend to pile on the pounds during pregnancy. My question to the extremely slim 7 months pregnant lady was, what on earth are you doing here? She replied saying, “I tend to feel stiff if I don’t keep moving and I get lower backaches, so I exercise to avoid all that.” Imagine that! So ladies? What is your excuse for not leaving a healthy lifestyle or not exercising? I was in awe. If I am being honest, I have a feeling that if I were naturally skinny, I would enjoy my food and probably not bother with exercise. Not good, I know but that is most likely what I might have done if I were slim.
We live in an era of celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Jenifer Lopez and our very own Tiwa Savage snapping back in no time after having babies. I have had single women complaining before asking me “if you lot are looking like that after having children, then what are we to say?” LOL. But it’s true! My reasons for keeping in shape are to do with feeling comfortable in my own skin. However society has created a culture that is under so much pressure to look good to the extent that some of us are making mistakes and starving ourselves. Particularly in Nigeria, we now have a new lying culture of people claiming they just look that way naturally; they do not exercise or diet! So they say!
The most important thing is to do the best you can when you can. It is difficult and yes, it does take a lot of discipline and organisation but it can be done. My friend’s husband sent her the following text message:
My girlfriends and myself laughed so hard, we almost wet our pants. It was hilarious and of course the husband was trying to be funny but I think we all got the message. Some women (like myself) have men who can tell them out rightly with love that they need to lose weight. After several complaints about my baby weight, TY bluntly asked me, “Baby if you are not happy about it, why not do something about it?” And so I did. Other men keep quiet and suffer in silence. I know of a marriage that ended because the wife’s weight was an issue and the husband could not get himself to tell her that he no longer found her attractive. We take care of our bodies for our partners and ourselves. We need to remember the vows of two become one and compromising. It might not always be convenient to get a workout in your hectic schedule as a mum and wife but remember that men are physical beings whilst we are emotional beings. Don’t put your husband in an awkward position of having to tell you to lose weight especially if he is reserved and thinks it might hurt your feelings rather than get his message across.
Would You Be Offended If Your Partner Asked You To Lose Weight?
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