My Perfect Pregnancy

Meet Jeremiah, my little bundle of perfection.

I was so excited and extremely expectant with my first pregnancy. As a matter of fact, from the day we started trying, which was on our honeymoon in early November 2013, I was so eager to get pregnant that I took a pregnancy test every two days or so. Yes it was a little obsessive and for some reason, every negative result did not stop my frequent checks. After two weeks of frustration, I decided to wait a while (well... four days or so). You are probably thinking I am a little impatient right? I am working on it. No judgements here.

A couple of days later, a gynaecological condition landed me in hospital. (Sigh… The things women go through!) I needed a minor operation (a post for another day) on my down below. Being petrified of pain, and familiar with the procedure, I opted for general anaesthetic as oppose to local anaesthetic. Having been informed that we were trying for a baby, the gynaecologist suggested that we should have a pregnancy test using a blood test just in case I had taken in. He explained that sometimes a urine test does not pick very early pregnancies.

As I lay on the bed waiting for the doctor to come back with the pregnancy test results, I wondered how this procedure would turn out. Worried about African medical care, I just lay on the bed hoping for the best. Having done the procedure before in the UK, I knew what to expect but I was not feeling too confident with the medical care in my new home of two weeks, Lagos.

The doctor finally came back and asked me, “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” Being a positive person (or so I think), I asked for the good news first of course. “You are 3 weeks pregnant!” he said. I was so happy; I performed a few somersaults or like my son calls them, rolly pollies (of course in my imagination). I snapped back to reality for the bad news, “we have to perform local anaesthetic because you are expecting (the Nigerian way of expressing that you are with child), it is not safe to put you completely to sleep.” I thought to myself, what’s the worst that could happen? After all am going to have a baby and besides, I have heard, that will be a really painful experience anyway so I better start getting used to pain.

My first trimester started with a lot of pain that had absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy hormones. Despite being told that they had applied local anaesthetic, I could feel every single cut, fiddle and stitch during the whole procedure. The pain was excruciating! I cried and made a few jokes during the whole procedure and cried some more. When it was all over I told TY, never again am I having this procedure done in Nigeria again. Little did I know that Jeremiah was going to be such a blessing to me! I got to learn that having a baby sometimes can balance ones hormones and/ or clear up a lot of messed issues with a woman's body. In my case, this meant not having another episode of a bartholin's cyst not talking of surgery. Thank goodness!

We went home that same day. I was on bed rest for weeks as I could barely walk. I was extremely frustrated but excited at the same time. I felt really bad for TY because the gynaecologist bluntly told us "no sex for 6-8 weeks" (his jaw almost dropped considering the fact that we were newly weds and he has 'needs'). Anyway, too much time in bed got me thinking of what my little one would look like. Would she be light or dark in complexion? If a he, would he be as slim or sturdy like his dad? Would I make a good mum? The questions were endless. All I did was, eat, sleep and shower. After all, I had been advised to take it easy after surgery and pregnant women are supposed to take it easy, right?

I started feeling nauseous at 6 weeks but to my frustration, I did not vomit. I wondered what would be better, feeling nauseous or actually being sick. A couple of years back I had experienced morning sickness that was so horrible to the extent that I felt like my guts were going to come out. The circumstances surrounding the morning sickness did not end well (that is another story for another day) but having that experience to compare it to, I realised that I was having it good in comparison to women who physically throw up. The experience leaves you feeling hopeless. I was glad to learn recently from two pregnant friends that we now have medication available that can help reduce the nausea or eliminate it entirely! (You can ask your gynaecologist for details).

In my first trimester, I found myself feeling extremely weak, useless and constantly sleeping. I just could not help it. My house help at the time, a young Hausa (Northern Nigeria) girl must have been thinking, this is the laziest woman I have ever met. I could just about manage to get myself into the shower and even that seemed to take a lot of effort. Now that we are expecting our second, my first trimester has been very similar to the first. Sleeping all the time and feeling nauseous but I have tried to counter these symptoms by exercising. I have to be honest with you my fellow ladies, I was not and am still not very consistent with my exercise routine but I noticed that my energy levels are higher and I did not gain even a pound 15 weeks into my pregnancy. Even at that, the first 12 – 14 weeks can feel like eternity. The mixed emotions, the constant irritation, the endless toilet visits and for most of us, the absolute loathe of different smells like perfume, certain foods and for some, the smell of alcohol from your spouse (it is enough to make you bilious if not, throw up).

This is me at 12 weeks with my second pregnancy. It took a lot of effort to get me out of the house for a friend's wedding.

After talking to a few lady friends, I realised that I was not alone. I rarely felt like going out of the house and getting ready seemed like way too much effort. For this current pregnancy my gym days slowed down drastically in the first trimester. I kept cancelling meetings and when I managed to make it into work I would fall asleep in the middle of meetings or on my laptop. My dreams were very vivid and a little out of the norm, no let me rephrase that, extremely weird and random at that! Some were too hilarious I shared them with TY and some I could not even discuss with him! I did not want him to think I am a weirdo! LOL.

Once I hit week 14 for both pregnancies, my energy started coming back. For my first born, I was not active at all until I got to my third trimester. You can tell by my chubby cheeks in the following picture. I was about 24 weeks pregnant with Jeremiah.

This was not because I was weak; it was because I followed the wrong advice of taking it easy whilst pregnant in relation to African culture. As a result of that, I gained several pounds during the first 7 months of my first pregnancy. My third trimester for Jeremiah seemed like a walk in the park except in the evening, when I would feel so exhausted due to my several activities during the day (Don't mind me, I think I was trying to make up for the last lazy 7 months). At night I would wake up several times to use the bathroom, if I wanted to change my position in bed, I would literally have to sit up first then turn on the other side. To reduce discomfort in the night, I used a pregnancy pillow, which helped a lot.

The third trimester, which starts at week 28 of pregnancy to week 40 can also feel like a drag, just like the first trimester. As the baby gets bigger you to tend to experience abdominal aches, lack of bladder control, fatigue especially in the evening, heartburn, backaches and for different women the list goes on. As you can imagine by week 36 or so most women just want the baby to come out already. I call the last trimester, “I have just about had enough.” In my own experience, my first and last trimester made me feel like I was pregnant for a year and not for the 9 or 10 months, however once I met my little man, my Jeremiah, all was forgotten and I thought to myself, it was all worth it. I definitely would do this again in a heart beat.

So yes, morning sickness sucks, yes it would have been nice to not have had my privates ripped apart and yes it would have been even better if I did not pile on the pounds but it was perfect. Perfect because I went through what millions of women go through every single day. Perfect because I went for my fortnightly checks and never had a single reason to worry because all my complaints fell in the "normal" pregnancy category. Perfect because even with the discomfort, waiting and unattractive body you get at the end of it all, you get a perfect human who is created in our creators image that you will love more than you love yourself.

The picture below is of me in my first trimester for our second baby. As I write this post, I am 24 weeks pregnant with our second munchkin. I am so determined this time to keep the unnecessary baby weight off. Now that TY and I are expecting our second baby, the pregnancy has been pretty much the same as Jeremiah's. I am still eating and indulging some of my cravings but I am eating with caution and exercising whenever I can. Here is a picture of me at 22 weeks with my current pregnancy. So far so good.

Oh before I forget, I am putting a little video together of my water birth experience with Jeremiah. I should have that post up on here soon.

What were some of your pregnancy experiences?

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