Are You Normal?
- Toju Adejumo
- Apr 2, 2016
- 3 min read
“You Are Not Normal!”
My cousin’s words echoed in my head. Not because it bothered me. On the contrary, I was glad I wasn't considered the norm and I found it quite interesting that she thinks I'm an outlier. However, here’s what I don’t quite comprehend. How does the fact that someone doesn't think/act like you or conform to your standards make them abnormal? What exactly is 'normal' anyway? Who decides how we are supposed to act and how we are supposed to feel? What about our individual uniqueness and circumstances that cause us to be the way we are?
A lot of people have been through awkward phases in their lives where fitting in was their utmost priority. I remember being the kid at school who didn’t want to stand out or appear different in any way at all. So I made uncomfortable attempts to join the band wagon because I didn’t want to be the misunderstood one or the one people thought to have psychotic problems. Then I got older and realised how fitting in altered my identity and how much time I had wasted as a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I was no longer willing to miss out on the things I found thrilling or sacrifice who I was for the sake of acceptance. I’m not sure what the purpose of life is but I doubt it's to be moulded or controlled by others that you shy away from your uniqueness.
Normal is subjective and we are all abnormal and beautiful people in our own right. Each and every one of us. When you realise this, only then will you have the courage to let your true colours shine for all to see. And rather than hide, rather than pretend to be who you are not, you will stand tall and accept yourself and others will too. You know why? Because everyone likes beautiful things and there is nothing more beautiful than a person who stands proudly and firmly in his/her own truth.
So, here are a few of my so-called abnormalities (only the subtle ones though so I don't scare you away):
I don't like phone calls. I detest having to put my phone to my ear especially for longer than I ought to. I don't mind typing all day long on messenger apps but phone calls? Nah! Definitely not for me.
I either don't get along well with women or I'm not very good at sustaining relationships with them. I'm not sure which is right. I don't understand it myself and I wonder how that came to be especially since I spent 6 years of my life in an all-girl boarding school. But that's just how my cookie crumbles and for this reason about 95% of my friends are male.
I'm a comfort dresser. I don’t understand why fashion should cause pain and I won’t wear anything that makes me uncomfortable. For this same reason, I don't wear high heeled shoes. I don't feel the need to walk on tiptoes everywhere I go. Well except it is absolutely necessary or I'm in an utterly good mood.
I love shoes. I like to shop for shoes, most of them I never get to wear and some of them I know even at the point of purchase that I will never wear. Then again, it’s way easier and less heart-breaking to shop for shoes than for clothes, isn't it? Have you ever gone shoe shopping and realised that you've gone up 2 shoe sizes? My point exactly! With shoes you can't be a 5 today and a 7 in 2 months. So yeah, I love shoes :)
I’m highly sensitive. I cry easily. I feel everything. If you’re hurting, I may be able to feel your pain physically and cry for you too.
I don't like numbers. I couldn't tell you my phone number off the top of my head. Whenever I get to a number when reading a book, be it a formula, date, whatever, I automatically skip to the next word. Amazingly, I'm not horrible at maths but that's another thing I can't explain.
I’m an extreme introvert. Probably the most extreme there is but that’s story for another day.
There you have it! We all have unusual characteristics. None of us came with a user manual. We are all finding our paths in this world and our individual definitions of 'normal' is a function of our society, upbringing, culture, tradition, life experiences, level of exposure, lifestyles and more. What’s normal to me may not necessarily be normal to you. We are all freaks of nature abnormal in one way or another. And to me, that’s completely normal.
So what’s your story? Are you normal? Please leave your comment below.
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